Ten kittens, one old fart
by v-feather
Summary: An 'Akatsuki kittens' story with a twist. The Akatsuki are teleported to our world, as kittens, and end up living with.. an old, grumpy war veteran? How will ten criminals deal with this? No OCxCanon for now, rated T because of Hidan. This is my first story, so please bear with me!
1. Kittens!

**Hello everybody!  
I am Feather, and I'm nervous as hell.  
This is my very first story, and I really don't know what to say here..  
Eh, I don't own Naruto, I only own my OC's and this plot.  
So.. have fun reading, I hope this story is not too horrible!**

**Oh, one other thing; my life is quite busy, so don't expect things like weekly updates.  
The whole story is done in my head, but it takes time to actually write it down.**

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[Author's P.O.V.]

Everyone had gathered in the Akatsuki hideout, and to be honest, it was quite a chaos. Deidara and Sasori were arguing over art, while Tobi was annoying Deidara in every way possible. Not even Pain knew why Tobi was in the hideout, but at this point, he didn't even care anymore. Deidara was close to blowing up the hideout, so Pain ordered Konan to drag Tobi away from him. Pain looked at the other Akatsuki members, and had to resist the urge to facepalm. Hidan was covered in blood, Kakuzu was yelling at him for bleeding on the carpet, Kisame was complaining that he was hungry and Zetsu was arguing with himself over god-knows-what. Luckily for Pain, at least Itachi was quiet. Deciding that it was time to stop this madness, Pain stood up.

"Everybody, be quiet!"

Within a second, the entire hideout was as quiet as it could possibly be. Everyone stared at Pain, surprised by his sudden outburst, and sat down in a circle on the floor. In the middle of the circle was a large scroll. That scroll was the reason why everyone had gathered here. Pain coughed and started talking.

"When Kakuzu collected his latest bounty, he was also given this scroll. The person who gave it to him said that it contains a very dangerous and powerful force, one that will change our lives if we open it. I have tried to figure out what it's contents are, but I have not been succesful. Judging from the information we have, this scroll could be life-threatening. I have thought about it, and it seems likely that the power stored inside this scroll will be very useful for us. I have decided that we are going to obtain that power, and the only way to do that is by opening this scroll. I can not open the scroll myself, because I have to supervise everything. Now, who is going to open the scroll?"

Pain looked as everyone except for Hidan and himself pointed to Hidan. Hidan opened his mouth, but was silenced after a glare from Pain. Silently cussing, Hidan stood op and walked towards the scroll. He picked it up and looked at it.

"Why do I always have to do these damn things?"

"Because you're immortal, un."

"Shut your face, Blondie."

Hidan glared at Deidara, and proceeded to open the scroll. The moment the scroll was opened, it started to emit a bright light that lit up the entire room. The Akatsuki stared in horror as the scroll opened some sort of portal, which swallowed up Hidan. The portal grew wider, dragging everybody in the room into a dark space. Within a minute, the hideout was empty, and the scroll closed itself again.

"Where the fuck are we, I can't see a thing! This is all your fault Kakuzu."

"Just shut up, Hidan."

* * *

In another world, a young girl was sitting on a couch, watching Naruto Shippuuden. Her name is Anna. She's 169 cm tall, slightly tanned, and had dark brown hair, pulled back in a high ponytail. She wore dark blue skinny jeans, and a soft pink t-shirt with the text 'Nobody's perfect, but I'm pretty damn close' on it. She wore a few black and pink beaded bracelets, and silver earrings. Her socks were rainbow-colored. Don´t ask.

She was moving a bit closer to the television screen when she heard the doorbell ring. Her left eye twitched at the annoying sound, but she wasn't planning to get off the couch. Instead she paused the dvd, turned around and yelled at her sister Lia, who was drawing something creepy. Lia had the same hair color as Anna, only Lia's hair was really long and wavy. She wore a dark blue dress with some abstract pattern on it, and no accessories at all.

"Oi, Lia!"

"Whaaat?" Lia turned her head around, she looked slightly irritated.

"Go open the door, I don't feel like getting on my feet!"

"Nah, don't feel like rollin' today. My arms are tired from drawing, you should give your poor sister some rest, An." Lia said with a smug look on her face.

Anna sighed and stood up, knowing that she wasn't going to win this. Lia was in a wheelchair because of an accident she had when she was little. She was walking to her friend's house, when she saw the headlights of a car right in front of her. She tried to jump away, but she was too late. The car hit her and sent her flying. She hit the ground with her chin, and her spine snapped. Since that day, Lia was unable to move her legs. Her mother quit her job to take care of Lia, because she was unable to do anything by herself. She suffered from a depression, and often stated that she would rather die than live without being able to walk.

For over one year, everybody Anna knew only cared for Lia. When people visited her, the first thing they'd ask was 'How is Lia doing?'. Anna felt neglected, but she was never unhappy. She also tried to cheer her sister up, and helped her whenever she could. Now that Lia got over her depression, she was a happy and positive girl. Unfortunately for Anna, Lia could easily manipulate her, and so Anna would always end up doing chores for her sister. Like for example opening the door.

Anna opened the door, but much to her surprise, she didn't see anybody. She stepped forward to make sure there wasn't somebody standing around the corner, and stubbed her toe against something. The something meowed. Anna looked down at her feet and saw a large box with holes in it. She picked it up and shaked it, on which the box answered with a few hisses and meows. Anna stared in wonder, a smile slowly creeping on her face. The next second she sprinted to the living room, causing the box to meow even louder.

"Kittens!" She yelled.

Lia looked up from her drawing as Anna dropped the box on the table. Due to the noise Anna made, her mother walked downstairs, muttering something about peace and quiet.

"Kittens?" Lia asked with a puzzled look on her face.

"Yes yes I found this box and it meows so we have kittens, let's open the box maybe we can keep them!"

"Stop talking so fast, you are not making sense." Lia said, rolling to the kitchen to get a pair of scissors.

By the time the scissors were found, Anna was almost literally bouncing with excitement. Lia handed the scissors to her mother, who then opened the box. Anna squealed and started bouncing even more when she saw the little furballs inside the box. There were ten little kittens, tumbling over each other and meowing loudly. They were truly the weirdest kittens Anna had ever seen. In a corner of the box, two kittens were sitting and meowing at each other, like they were arguing. The smallest one was crimson colored, and the other was yellow. Two other kittens were also arguing, in fact, they were almost fighting. One was brown-ish with dark stripes, and the other was silver-colored. A pure black kitten was sitting like a statue, and a blue kitten was sitting next to him, meowing softly. In a corner was a half black, half white kitten trying to climb out of the box, and a black kitten with an orange face was jumping around him. In the middle of the box sat an orange and a dark blue kitten, almost like the were overlooking the whole situation.

"How weird, that one looks like an oreo.." Lia said, pointing to the black and white kitten.

"Look at those two in the middle, they are just like Konan and Pain!" Anna squealed.

The kittens stopped meowing as Anna said this, and they looked at her with wide eyes. Except for the black kitten with the orange face, he kept jumping all over the place.

"Konad and Pain? Let me guess, they are characters from that show you're watching?" Anna's mother said.

"Yes they are, but it's Konan, not Konad, mom. Anyway, can we keep them? Pretty please with sugar on top?" Anna tried to make the best puppy face she could, but it didn't help.

"You know that there is no place for a cat here, honey. Your father is allergic, and there are ten cats in this box. Our house is just too small for ten kittens."

Anna looked at the ground in defeat. She was never good at convincing people, and was always the one to admit defeat. She didn't want the kittens to go to a shelter. Then Lia said something surprising.

"Can't we give them to gramps? He lives alone in that big house of his now that granny died, that must be lonely. Kittens are the perfect company for him!"

"That is actually a pretty good idea, Lia." Her mother said. She closed her eyes, thought it over, and nodded.

"It's worth a shot, I guess. Eric doesn't want to move to a smaller house, and he also refuses help from a cleaning-person. Kittens are good company, it will surely make him feel more comfortable and less lonely. Anna, grab the box, we are going to visit gramps."

Anna carefully closed the box again and carried it outside, while her mother pushed Lia in the back of the car. Five minutes later, they were on their way to Eric, to change his life in the most awkward way possible.

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**Soo...  
First chapter.. thanks for reading! What did you think of it?  
Please leave a review and give me your opinion!  
Also, I really, really love constructive criticism, tell me what I can do better!  
I want to improve..**

**R&R!**


	2. Meet Eric

**Hello, this is Feather, delivering the second chapter of _Ten kittens, one old fart_!  
First of all, thanks to TheGirlWithNoIQ, narutoprincessauthor, KK1KK2, YortUchiha, chomp0 and one random person for reviewing!  
I really appreciate it.  
This chapter contains lots of descriptions, and I hope you understand everything.  
****I find [scene-]descriptions really hard to write.. [I can never find the right English words]**

**Next week school starts again, and I've got exams coming up, so I won't have much time for this story.  
****Anyways, enjoy!**

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While they were getting closer and closer to their new home, the Akatsuki were trying to figure out what has happened to them. They sat in a circle in the small box, and discussed the current situation. Or, that is what Pain wanted them to do. The only people listening to him were Konan, Itachi and Tobi. Or to be more precise; Tobi had fallen asleep and Itachi was glaring at everyone who made a noise. Konan actually listened. Not that she could hear anything, there were too many people yelling in her ear.

"Hey, stop poking your tail in my eye, un!"

"Then stop moving closer to me, brat."

"Deidara-chan just wants to hug~"

"What?! No! I'm going to kill you, Hidan!"

"That ain't possible, cuddle bunny!"

Having lost his patience a long time ago, Deidara took out his claws and lunged in Hidan's direction, wanting to scratch out his eyeballs. He landed on something furry, and started to fight it. Expecting to hear Hidan yell something, Deidara was quite surprised when he heard Hidan laugh. And the sound of laughter came from his right, and not from below him. Deidara's murderous glare changed into a more nervous one as he realized he wasn't scratching out Hidan's eyeballs, but someone else's. He stopped scratching and biting, and looked down at the unfortunate kitten. A very angry Kakuzu looked back at him, and before Deidara could jump away, Kakuzu lunged his claws at Deidara's face.

"T-this is priceless!" Hidan yelled, roaring with laughter.

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Forty kilometres from the Akatsuki-in-a-box was a small town. The houses in that town were centered around a town centre. The town centre was very small, it only consisted of a few tiny shops and a playground. The houses however, were more like mansions. Not one mansion looked like another, and they all had huge gardens, with a pool, fountains, sculptures and what not. It all looked wonderful, and it made you think that only very rich people lived there. But when you'd take a closer look, you would see that this town wasn't as great as it looked. The mansions were more like ruins, and the gardens like jungles. A lot of windows were shattered, and walls looked as if they were going to collapse the next second. This town was actually a town built for 'special' war veterans. And Eric was one of them.

Eric's mansion was one of the better-looking mansions in the town. The windows were not shattered, but the mansion still looked close to collapse. The walls were painted white, and the roof was black. The mansion consisted of three stories and a large basement. Above the front door was a small balcony, and above the third floor rose two small, round towers. Inside the mansion was not much furniture, there were only the necessary things. There was a dining table with 6 chairs, and the usual kitchen furniture in the kitchen. The living room was mostly empty, except for a small television, a couch, an armchair and a few bookshelves. There was also a toilet on the ground floor. The first and second floor consisted of three bedrooms and one bathroom each. The beds on the first floor were all double beds, and on the second floor there were bunk beds. The bathrooms were the same on both floors. The third floor consisted of one more bedroom with a single bed, and for the rest that floor was empty. The basement was mainly a storage for wine, old furniture and lots of bugs. The walls were painted white and grey. Most of the floors were made of wood, except for the kitchen, the toilet and the two bathrooms. The only things that showed someone was living in this mansion were some paintings and pictures on the walls, and the resident himself.

Eric was reading in a newspaper about a kidnapping gone wrong, sitting in his favourite chair; an old, grey armchair in the middle of the living room. From this chair he could see everything that happened in the street. Eric always wanted to know what the other people in the street were doing. He knew that most people in this town were old, crazy people, and crazy people can be very dangerous. Eric hated this place. He had to deal with senile old people who even forget their own names. Eric wasn't like the others in this town. He was sane. The only reason the doctors left him here was, as they said it, 'because he has got suicidal thoughts and has to be watched by professionals'. Every week, one of these 'professionals' would just walk into his house, clean up a bit, and talk to him. Eric hated that. He hated those people who called themselves professionals, he hated the way they entered his house without permission, he hated the way they spoke to him, and he hated the way they acted like they owned the place.

"The police these days are worthless. They can't do shit right." Eric grunted. "In the war they would never have survived." suddenly he saw a movement in the corner of his eye and he looked up from his newspaper. He saw a large, blue car driving towards his house. Knowing that it was his family, he stood up and walked towards the front door.

Eric opened the door before Anna could reach the doorbell, as always. Anna greeted her grandfather with a big hug, and Eric grunted in response. Eric walked to the kitchen to make tea, and Anna walked inside, bouncing with excitement. It took a little longer for Lia and her mother to get to the living room, and when they were all seated, Eric had just finished making tea. Anna's mother smiled.

"As always, perfect timing, dad." She gratefully took a cup of tea and a cookie.

"What are you going to give me this time? A maid? A make-over? New paint on the walls?" Eric asked, looking a bit irritated.

"Dad, why do you always think that we are going to give you something? We are just here to say hello-"

"Kittens!" Anna yelled. receiving a dark glare from her mother, Anna mumbled an apology and looked down, petting the box on her lap.

Eric walked over to Anna, took the box from her hands and walked back to his chair.

"I am not taking care of your cats." He said, while opening the box. Lia rolled towards Eric, to help him, while giving him a pair of puppy eyes.

"But they are so fuzzy and warm, and they will make you feel less lonely." She pouted a little while grabbing the black-and-white kitten.

"I am not lonely."

"They are so cute!"

"I don't care."

"They have nowhere else to go!"

"So what."

"T-they will die if you abandon them.." Lia's eyes were filled with tears. She looked up at Eric, and saw that he wasn't going to win this. Tears were his weakness, and Lia knew that.

"Ugh, fine. Whatever." Eric sighed, and looked at the kittens in front of him. He had lost this battle, and was going to take care of tiny kittens. This was going to be a pain in the ass. He looked around and saw Anna dancing and jumping around, and Lia was smiling victoriously. _That girl would be a brilliant interrogator, wheelchair or not._

"The kittens are saved! You have to give them names right now!" Anna skipped towards the box and picked up two kittens; the silver and the black one.

Eric grunted, he didn't want to name the kittens. Naming something always results in getting attached to it, and he didn't feel like getting attached to these meowing and scratching things. He looked up at the kittens, and saw that the silver one was wriggling and scratching Anna's arm. Eric grabbed the kitten and held it in some kind of headlock, while scolding it.

"Don't hurt the kitten! Maybe it's hungry." Said Anna, while putting the black kitten back in the box.

"Yeah. I'm going to feed them something. It's getting late, you should go home" Eric answered. He really wanted to be alone now, he was getting a headache.

"Name the kittens first!"

"I'll name them tomorrow."

"But gramps!"

"No buts, time to go."

"It's not even that late.."

"Time. to. go."

Eric walked towards the front door and opened it, still holding the silver kitten in a headlock. He waited patiently for Lia to get to the door and in the car, and waved at them as they drove off. When they were out of sight, Eric closed the door and returned to his kittens. He let go of the silver kitten, grabbed the box and turned it upside-down. The kittens meowed and hissed as they fell down. Eric didn't care, cats always land on their feet.

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**Thanks for reading the second chapter!  
Was it any good? Did you understand everything?  
Please review and giv me your opinion!  
[Should Eric actually name the kittens? Or not? What do you think?]**

**R&R!**


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